Harry Potter Fanfiction by PaulaMcG

There's Only Hope Left

Rating position

18 August
External Services:
  • paulamcg@livejournal.com
My fanfiction - stories about Remus Lupin's life The short stories are listed after the novel, which they complement, in chronological order, even though each story, including the four novel excerpts, can be read separately as well. I love feedback of all kinds, concrit included. Comments on any piece of my fanfic will always be treasured (and replied to in detail)no matter how old the piece is!

Remus Lupin and the Revolt of the Creatures (1996) A books-one-to-five-compliant novel – now (in February 2010) finally completed!

it is truly amazing. … Your Remus … is completely real. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him, or any other character in fanfiction, written so deeply and extensively, with such multifaceted approach. … In “Revolt” I can see Remus confront the whole world in that his life is visibly set in this world. … you show courage in making your choices independent, unpredictable and startling; you also show wisdom in justifying them. … I catch myself totally believing every word. … I can’t question this, it happened, it’s the truth. (ishonn)
Read the whole thing yesterday… Amazed!!! Awed!!! Joyous!!! Very important piece of writing… (filchescat)
I love the depth and detail … portrays exceptionally the challenges he faces from learning just who he is to taking on the Ministry of Magic itself in defence of his fellow "creatures". (Jadealinda)
With every chapter you bring in more layers in this story. (shimotsuki)
I'm really enjoying the way the story keeps deepening, as does Remus's character.
Everything is coming together so well; I can see all the final threads tying into the tapestry of the story, making it whole. You deal so deftly with the various motifs -- art, vision, dream, history, reality, perception and misperception.
What a glorious journey this story has been. Thank you!!
Nominated in the category of Best Multi-Chaptered Story at the Deathly Hallows Awards 2010.

Images of the Past (summer 1977 – October 1981)

the way he (or you, rather) narrates it almost makes it feel as it were happening in real time ... your description of what he sees, with and without sirius included was very wonderful and sensual and filled with life. (spacefragments)

Turn the Night on Fire (December 1978)

There are so many gorgeous lines. I really, really enjoyed your piece! (mindabbles)
You've chosen the perfect song for this atmospheric story! I like the way the lyrics weave in and out of Sirius's consciousness and how the style reflects his growing high -- his mind and his words are disjointed, yet his feelings are clear and strong. (kellychambliss)

Almost Dark Again (December 1979)

I love the quiet density of this story, how it tells one everything it needs to but is also just a small moment out of a larger story going on all around. It's all very real and immediate, and the ways they show their feelings for each other are charmingly in character. The whole thing is fabulous and powerful. (daphnaea)
there's something...not fictional about it; it's more real (westwardlee)

These Acts of Love (December 1980)

I'm generally not a great fan of first-person narrative in fanfiction, but it worked extremely well in this piece. (shaggydogstail)
it is also probably the single most sensible use of the second person I have ever seen (das_kabinett)

A Rosy Sunset (March 1981)

Sirius' pain is raw here, and the intimacy you draw is palpable. (topaz_eyes)
Your writing makes every word precious. (wildestranger)
your descriptive writing is so strong. That first paragraph is magic. (lazy_neutrino)

Better Stick Together (April 1981)

This is so vividly Peter (dorrie6)
This is in fact a stronger portrait of Peter than we're used to seeing … I love - LOVE - the little glimmer of love and insight into Remus's current situation. (aerama)
I haven't seen many stories that really nail Peter's reliance on his friends, and I think you show it perfectly here. (lyras)

Catching His Moving Image (October 1981)

This is beautiful, how you literally paint with words (topaz_eyes)

Dream Another Presence (August 1982)

Very evocative and poetic, full of believable yearning. (kellychambliss)
Remus' memories, or dreams, seem real and tangible, and I was pulled immediately into this world. (mindabbles)
The imagery is poetic and immediate, and it makes the reader directly feel just how bereft Remus is without needing to have it spelled out. (shimotsuki)

I Don’t Dream (January 1983)

You handle your words and space with a deftness that I… envy. … I like your Remus voice here, the dry off hand comments … and the grounding of a character through a few words (jazzypom)
you do a brilliant job of getting into Remus' head and examining his motivations and wants and needs and making it believable. I really liked the meld of past and present, of dreams and reality, and how you instilled a subtle, but real sense of loss (topaz_eyes)
I love the dreamlike, disorientated quality of the prose, which contrasts very effectively with the concrete reality of poverty. (wickedevra)
the construction is perfect in its torn form. I let myself follow it without doubts or questions, I just had to follow. (ishonn – Ayin on FA)

A Gift (1984 – 1986)

I love that about your work - you've thought everything through so thoroughly that it feels real, even if, in this case, my own beliefs about the Lost Years are quite different. … The depiction of grinding poverty seems almost painfully realistic to me. … Very real, and realistic, sense of depression (sasha_davidovna)
The writing is powerful and evocative, as you know. Not dreamlike this time. Awfully solid. (That's my biggest compliment, together with 'dreamlike', of course.) Very tactile, very realistic: almost too realistic at times, with the detail of the men's room. You can almost smell it, too. (minnow_53)

Come Up With Me (December 1986)

Oh Paula, this is a beautiful and haunting tale. You manage to get into Remus' head so well in the first person, I think you've been the only writer I've seen do that. I've never been to Greece but I almost felt I was there with the sights and smells. (topaz_eyes)
You once again managed it -- this took my breath away; it kept my gaze glued to the screen as I read and I got lost in the tale. It was enthralling. It was beautiful, gorgeous, and your Remus is just... beautiful. (cecine)

Here I Am Anew (November 1987)

you kept his physical limitations post-transformation from permeating his essence and leaving him weak. Exhausted, yes, but full of the strength and beauty that drew me to this character from the beginning.I have read a few "lost years" fics, and the fact that you don't have him prostituting himself, physically or emotionally is refreshing. … you place your characters in believable settings, have OCs who are contributing to the storyline, and use relevant narration to keep the story moving along. Please keep writing, you do it so well. (norwyn)

Change in Direction (a 100-word drabble) (May 1988)

I am fresh off of reading Here I Am Anew and it's in my bloodstream … And then to come back to this and read it again...it's a great experience. (aerama)
But poor Remus! :( I love his self-deprecation and his modesty. Actually, though you take the HP characters well beyond their perimeters, I feel that your Remus is one of the few who would be instantly recognisable if he turned up in one of the 'official' books. (minnow_53)

Anywhere And Back Again (July 1993)

Oh, and I must commend your seamless transition between present and past tense and back again. It took me a couple paragraphs even to notice. Bravo. … This whole piece breathes warmth and magic and brings the reader right _there_, watching the action, feeling the breath Remus draws in, feeling that nothing is so utterly right as this time in his life. And I love your original characters. They're living, breathing people, not caricatures, not ciphers. They mean something to Remus, and so they mean something to us. (aerama)

Challenges Like These (December 1993)

so atmospheric, as all your best work is. Luna and Remus's separate POVs work perfectly in themselves but blend really well into a cohesive whole. (minnow_53)

Let’s Go Home, Pads (summer 1995)

you make sure to show how the outside world impinges on the character's choices. … he ruminates over time and distance, but he and Padfoot are right there, in the moment, and you describe the chill of the wind and the turn of the day. (jazzypom)
I've read a lot of LLAL fics, and this is one of those that'll stand out in my mind. A lovely, lovely piece of fic. (blueberry_31)
I love the depth of your characters, they are raw and full of a realness that often does not suface in fanfiction. (norwyn)
it goes without saying that it is excellent, and is possibly the best paced 'Lie low at Lupin' fic's I've read. I like how you make us take in every small detail, and act, and thought, and make us feel as though we were waiting, as the characters were, for that first true contact of human warmth and skin and company. (gunderpants – on FA)

I Decided to Surprise Remus (winter and summer 1995)

You're not afraid to make it painful and almost unbearably honest. You're not afraid to make your characters egoistic, pathetic, pitiable, sometimes arousing my anger because they won't do what they should, what I would like them to. And that's what I value here most: they act like [i]humans[/i], and not heroes, not fairytale boys. In your story Sirius and Remus are grown-ups, people of flesh and blood, so painfully real. … they're afraid. Terribly scarred. Some wounds still haven't healed. They are what they must be after all they've been through - and that's the best part of it, although painful. … it's extremely convincing and believing you was only natural for me. (ishonn – Ayin on FA)

I Am Still the Stray (summer 1995)

I could dine on the lean meat of your prose. … I like how you catch the dislocation of Sirius Black in your pieces. He isn't mad, or batshit! crazy … but he has lost a fair bit of himself and he's canny enough to know this. … Remus here … is a presence, but unshowy with it, and I do like the hints of how life has affected them both … (jazzypom)
your careful control of the prose, characterization, and skillful imagery are marvelous. (lucymay_lj)

His Face Shines in the Gloom of My Parents’ House (summer and autumn 1995)

Another really powerful piece … your writing can be so poetic and almost lyrical, but not flowery in the least. Your characterisation of Sirius is excellent here. You do a good job of conveying how drained and almost broken he is after being on the run for so long, and yet his former energy and vibrance still echo through the story. … you've captured his not-quite-saneness and sardonic sense of humour without overstating it. (wickedevra)
The uncensored, running narration of Sirius's thoughts and days feels very real to me … Your Remus is excellent … Despite the dreamlike, introspective quality to the fic, Remus emerges as a very solid, real figure (sasha_davidovna)
You have a very distinctive, clear style: the word 'clear' doesn't detract from the dreamlikeness, btw! -- and your use of the different person/tense works really, really well. So well that it has exactly the effect you want without being remotely intrusive. (minnow_53)

Warmth Along the Fear (October 1995)

Wow - compelling and powerful. (wickedevra)
So melancholy, despite the feeling of being blessed. (magnetic_pole)

In Lines of Charcoal (December 1995)

Truly lovely and uplifting!! This may just be my favorite thing I've read so far! (brighty18)
I love all your fic, it's so vivid ... it's full of real things people say, and I can really hear them saying it all. (taigne)
I also love your idea about how magical paintings work. The level of detail in this piece is amazing. I could almost breathe the cold air. (laroseminuit)

Walls of Cover and Confinement (1996 / 1995 / 1981 / The Marauders’ third and fourth year at Hogwarts)

I got completely pulled in. … there was no way that I could NOT read this. Wow. I really, really liked this. It's rich and full and dancing, and at the same time deep and saddened and resolute. I found myself eager to see what Remus would say next - that really is a fantastic letter - and of course, where Sirius would fit in to all this. For Remus did an excellent job of keeping Sirius out of it as much as he could...ah, but it all came flooding back to him didn't it. Our poor Remus. … And the description was by far glorious. (aerama)

How Human We Are (1996 / The Marauders’ fourth and fifth years at Hogwarts)

There's a lovely, wistful tone to this whole piece - it really draws the reader in, as the best novels of this kind do. … your background to him (Peter Pettigrew) was very plausible … Sirius is always a difficult character to write about because it's clear in canon that he's so very charming and talented. Still, you've made him both of these things without making him one-dimensional or cliched. (dolorous_ett)
I like the style of this piece, almost meandering, stream-of-consciousness, yet driving towards a definite point that one feels gently moved toward. It's all yet another facet of Remus that makes him ever more a person in our eyes. We feel right there with him everything that he's going through. (aerama)
I think one of the marks of your fine ability as a writer is that you do leave some things open for interpretation. Those of us who want slash, can find it; those of us who do not prefer this genre could read this as friends only. Your stories have a plot, and characters who are real and who give to the story; even your minor characters add significant development to the plot … (norwyn)
You've got a far more serious, intellectual take on the boys than one usually finds in fanfic, and I think this lends the whole piece enormous gravitas and authenticity. … You somehow manage to make your fiction very mysterious, so one senses a larger world beyond the characters … Altogether, this is a very strong, compelling story. (minnow_53)

A Dog Whenever I Need (1996 / March in the Marauders’ fifth year at Hogwarts)

Your prose is simply stunning (eyra)
I enjoyed this! You have a really unique writing style, slow-moving and thoughtful and lush. The level of diction is interesting, too. It seems like you've chose a very formal vocabulary for the exposition but aimed for more casual, realistic dialogue. I like the decision--because the contrast is interesting and keeps the sense of this-happened-in-the-past in the reader's mind at all times. (magnetic_pole)
Very haunting, this. How many times do we have to grow up, indeed. I do like your Remus letters, they are very unsentimental. They are written with a sort of gravitas, a hard earned wisdom of a man twice his age and all that. You make me feel for Remus again. (jazzypom)

It Is Still Here (a 100-word drabble) (the lost years / autumn 1993 / summer 1996)

This is a beautiful piece - so clever how the focus on place evokes the memory of their love and yet shows how love transcends place and time, and even death. (wickedevra)
Mmm, beautiful. I love the description of his 'unrelenting love', it really gives a sense of the strength of their relationship. (crazysexy_cool)

Will You Stop Torturing Yourself? (autumn 1996)

I've always wondered about Remus' parents and you've described them so realistically here. … Your Remus in this story is a proud creature … There's strength in him which you don't find in many fics with Remus. (insight2)
This is, as ever, lovely and wonderful to read. It makes me very curious about the novel … (lisamarie_21)
Wonderful. I love the narrative contemplation from your story. You write so well… I like the idea of conflict between Albus & Remus; without it, he would just be the pathetic tea drinking/chocolate eating lycathrope that has been wandering the fandom searching for a mending kit for his robes for the past few winters. (norwyn)

Sketches for a Portrait (A series of 100-word drabbles, each of which can stand on its own, too – a WIP to cover Remus’s life 1970’s – 1990’s)

I like to think that the first person is a sign of a more confident Remus, more at home in the world and with himself, and makes sense in the later drabbles rather than the first two. (minnow_53)
I'm glad that you chose to try out third person; I think it works quite well, and I've never been a huge fan of first person in serious pieces of work. But I've realised that I actually prefer it when you use the first person; it's part of your unique Remus voice, and there's nothing "off" about it at all (which is what I usually think of first person). I think you're one of the few authors out there who writes about weightier subjects and manages to make it work in the first person. (expositionary)

Two drabbles about Remus and Luna: A Later Sketch for a Portrait (1993) and A Sketch for Someone New (post-series, AU)

Wow, surprise ending, hee! And a very effective one. This has that attribute that can make a good drabble so compelling: allusion to just enough of a backstory to make the drabble larger than itself. (shimotsuki)

As a child I wrote stories, later poems and letters, more letters and poems. I got one boy to call my own, later three more, and I wrote nothing, but read children’s books.

I met Professor Lupin on a train. I met him again, but hardly heard him say more than “How are you?” Disappointed, I started to narrate his life from his own perspective.

Almost a year later I found Fiction Alley and realized I was not the only one who had understood that Remus had loved his friend Sirius not only as a brother. Gradually I started labeling my short stories (which are all set in the same reality of my Remus and Sirius’s lives as my extensive, mainly post-OotP-period genfic from Remus’s pov) as “implied RL/SB slash”, because the ship-oriented potential readership seemed to demand labels.

I still wish I could avoid labeling. I believe that fiction must stand on its own, and readers shouldn’t be deprived of the right to finalize a work of art in their interpretations: by making the fictional characters live in their minds on the basis of the more explicit and of how they have chosen to see the implicit.

My stories are about the lives of these men in their world – and about us and our world. I love discussing my stories with anyone who wants to share these lives.

The icon I used exclusively for more than three years was made by on_axis on the basis of a picture of Davis Thewlis. My new default icon was made by spacefragments on the basis of a portrait of Remus she published in May 2008, and given only for me to use.

Rating position